Choosing to find a good ratio and not be 100%

I was in the midst of my 6th whole30 and I chose to stop. I chose this because we had some things coming up that I didn't want to miss out on vacation meals etc.

Here's what I know from my 5 rounds of whole30:

Sugar affects me greatly... GREATLY

My allergies are non existent since I learned these principals and stick to them lost of the time. Even when I'm lot 100% they are gone. 

I lose weight well at 100%

My discipline is great at 100% but haven't found a good structure for 80% or 90% 

I feel amazing when I eat great and if I do a bunch of junk eating I feel heavy and sluggish. 

My training for my triathlon goes better when I eat well (or whatever exercise) but it also makes me more hungry that what is comfortable. 

 I think what I need most is to find the best ratio of compliant/clean eating : treats/splurges I've always heard 80/20 but I often think it should be closer to 90/10. 

I try to figure out ways to track this because honestly if you do t track it you'll find yourself at 70/30, 50/50, 70/30 and so forth down the hill to junk food land. 

I haven't been so great at keeping a good balance and I believe it's because of vacation but I have continued making great choices some times. I continue to only drink water unless there is a special circumstance and I NEVER drink soda. I know that my choices are much better than average and my weight is sustaining but I need to find a balance that allows me to continue to lose. 

I've thought the best way to track was to allow x number of non-compliant or treats a week. I thought that might be simplest. For example. If I eat 4 times a day (I usually do) then that is 28 times a week. So easy math 25 meals per week would allow 5 non compliant meals per week for 80/20 and 2 or 3 for 90/10. I think this is reasonable. I've also considered when do I want those treats? Not breakfast! I love my eggs and bacon and veggies for breakfast. So I think if I focus on breakfast and lunches being compliant it may give me more of a structure to keep things routine. 

I would love to hear how others have successfully found a balance or a ratio. Please comment and tell me about it! 

See below where not being 100% allowed me to try crawfish for the first time instead of missing an opportunity and honestly there were no negative affects. This is why I want to find a balance. To enjoy but feel good. 

Postpartum Anxiety and OCD - learn and be aware

When you're expecting a baby you hear all about postpartum depression and the signs etc. Husbands and Daddys are educated about the signs as well. We all know about the normal baby blues too and expect some different moods and feelings. 

When you arrive home from the hospital life can be overwhelming and difficult to adjust to. But what happens in a few weeks when you still feel overwhelmed but you are far from depressed. You're happy as can be and you don't have negative thoughts at all about that precious new baby. Well, I assumed overwhelmed was normal and knew I didn't fit the postpartum depression sign and symptoms so I kept moving ahead. 

Was I normal for worrying that my baby would become a SIDS statistic? Probably.

Was it normal that I kept my eyes on her a lot to make sure she was still breathing? 

Likely.

Was it normal that I double checked her straps on her swing, car seat etc. 

I'd like to think so.

Was it normal that I put a few steps in place to assure that I didn't forget that super tiny super quiet baby in the backseat of my car?

Some don't think so but I'm the type that believes it's dangerous to say "I could never do that"

Was it normal that my mind was consumed ALL the time with scenarios of how she could get hurt or die?

No. 

Was it normal that my OCD (actually diagnosed, not throwing the acronym around) then kicked in and I became obsessive compulsive about preventing the scenarios in the intrusive thoughts? 

No. 

I knew I wasn't normal when I checked my backseat 5 times between the sitters and work (3 miles) to make sure she wasn't in the car after I had just dropped her off. 

I knew it wasn't normal that intrusive thoughts of her suffocating, falling and hitting her head, or not breathing entered my mind more than 3 times per hour. 

I am a Christian and fully believe that God is in control and nothing I do can change His plans if he takes her to heaven. This was relieving and I fully understood this but I could not stop. The obsessive compulsive behaviors and intrusive thoughts were too frequent to stay focused on the truth. So many people encouraged me to pray and let God be in control. I did those things but I still needed help. 

That's when I got help. Asking for help from my doctor was such a relief. I cried. He was very kind and reassuring. I began a medication which ended up helping but not being right for my whole body. I then, after a reaction, began seeing my general practitioner who referred me for counseling. 

Counseling helped a lot. It was more work than the medicine but yielded greater results. I still struggle today. She's almost 15 months and some days I feel accomplished when I don't double check things after my husband. Some days I pull the car to the side of the road to check her car seat one more time, and some days I let her play in dirt and take risks. Each day is different. 

I have also found that eating well and exercising keep me in a good place with all of this. There is a lot of research connecting exercise and things such as depression, anxiety, etc. 

I'm thankful for the help I have received from my doctors, friends, family, counselor, and God. And my husband.... He's amazing. He doesn't get offended and he knows when to go along and when to pull me back to reality 

I want other moms to see that postpartum depression isn't the only thing to watch for. I was officially diagnosed with postpartum depression but I was happy, I was obsessed with keeping her safe. Postpartum Anxiety and OCD was under that depression umbrella that's why it's diagnosed that way. Be aware moms and dads and friends. Get help and talk about it. If you know me feel free to talk with me and if you don't know me post here etc. Talking and being aware is powerful. 

Here she is miss sassy pants herself.