Yes my blog is titled "FindTheSkinny", once you're at the blog you'll see "Here's the Skinny" of course this is a play on words being a fit blog and a blog that tells it straight like it is. I don't hide much. So, its not really about being "skinny" of course, because I'm a size 12/14. Would I like to be a smaller size? yes!, Do I need to shed additional pounds? YES YES!, but ultimately what you'll find on my blog are my thoughts as I strive for a HEALTHY lifestyle. You'll find the ups and downs and all arounds.
With that said... I have ZERO intention of discussing any of my own body image struggles with my little girl. She doesn't need to know when I "feel fat" in an outfit or what I don't like about my body. What she does need to know and what I pray I can equip her with is how to eat healthy, fuel her body to be active and strong, and love herself.
So, I think that this is something I'm going to have to watch out for in the upcoming few months as she begins to understand my words. I think that soon enough we will begin teaching her the positive bits of knowledge listed above. I think one day society will turn this into a bit of a battle when society tells her different and its our job to teach her well.
"you need to feed her more, she's too skinny", "you need to not let her eat so much, she's getting a belly"
I assure you these people don't know how it feels to have your husband drive you, crying, with your baby girl to the lactation consultant because you're worried she's not drinking enough. Then see you smile when they weight her before and after a feeding and the little princess eats like 4-6 oz in 10 minutes! They also aren't there when her little precious heart can't seem to dirty a diaper for a few days and it hurts her tummy. (thats the other side of those comments that they don't get)
These are words spoken to me and my husband by people holding her. So those words hit her little innocent ears before they hit ours. I was so mad both times. Who is someone else to question our child's nutrition to us??? I'm breastfeeding, I'm not sure there's any better way to ensure that she gets the right amount of the right things. We introduced a bottle of formula a few times a week when I returned to work (5 months old), but I'm ok with that too! When we introduced puree foods at 4 months I was super careful about how we introduced in order to help her acquire a great liking for a variety of veggies and fruits. So far she only dislikes green beans and peaches. I feel SO good about my child's nutrition.
So when I tell you she drinks approx 5-6 oz of breastmilk each feeding, don't suggest 8 oz! (unless you're my lactation consultant or pediatrician) and when you hear or see her LOVE her pureed fruits and veggies don't make comments about that either.
Can we let this innocent, beautiful, perfect baby girl live a little before she starts begin judged? Can we? !
I shared with my husband how this was an ah-ha moment for me... according to others she's "too skinny", she's "getting a belly". Guess what we think??? She's "Beautiful and perfect and thriving and 7 MONTHS OLD!" I told my husband that I realized in these moments that body image issues begin for little girls during infancy. How sick is that? really? My husband had a response of support for what I was saying. He hadn't really thought of it either, but now that it's our little girl being judged and critiqued on her body that's not even developed enough to sit up strong or quite crawl, He and I agree its unacceptable.
Can our 7 month old comprehend what these comments mean right now? No. When will she comprehend them? We don't know. For some reason people feel that its ok to make comments about her body. When will that stop? Will it stop the day before she comprehends? Doubt it! She will begin to comprehend it before anyone loses their comfort in making the comments. So basically what happens is people think its okay because they are "just a baby" but then they don't stop soon enough and if affects a little girl.
It is unacceptable to comment on my little infant baby girls body and how you think its "too this" or "too that" or "getting this".
Does anyone agree with me?
Now, before anyone thinks I'm crazy. I get that my little girl is a petite little bundle and there will be appropriate comments along the way that go along with that. She's 1 percentile in length and 7 percentile (up from 1) in weight. I do NOT get offended when I get asked frequently if she's a preemie, or when people say "oh, she's the tiniest little thing", or "she's so little and cute". I don't. Those comments are very different from "You need to feed her more because she's too skinny" or "You need to feed her less because she's getting a belly" WAY different. So I'm not saying no one can comment on her at all. But there appears to be no line where people stop, so this mom is going to draw the line for those people.
I told my husband that in order to protect her from these comments people seem to think are ok I am prepared to be vulnerable and put myself out there by immediately correcting people when they make these comments. For example: If someone makes one of those "across the line" comments I will simply say: "I appreciate your concern, but she's an infant, she's thriving well, and we choose not to make negative comments about her body in front of her, please respect our wishes"
I'm sure that will get some looks, but I'm DRAWING A LINE! My little girl will not get judged about her body while I can stop it.